Why We Chose Children’s Home Society

March is National Social Work month, so I thought to honor the wonderful social workers we’ve worked with, I’d write about why we chose Children’s Home Society for our adoption.

Honestly, for me, the biggest answer is you. Choosing an agency to work with was a daunting, weeks-long process. We read more websites, reviews, and blogs than we can remember. And I kept coming back to support for the mother before and after birth and her involvement in her child’s life.

I don’t pretend to have any idea of what you’re going through.  But I know it would make me a wreck and when I found out that CHS provides pre and post-birth counseling, I was relieved. It truly demonstrates CHS’s commitment to helping you develop the best plan for you and your child, no matter what that plan looks like. Their number one concern is making sure the child is well cared for. I didn’t see this with many other agencies in the Central Virginia area. I felt like other agencies were concerned with filling quotas and getting money. I have never once gotten this feeling from CHS. In every meeting, the emphasis has been placed on the well-being of the child above all else.

I want you to be well taken care of because that’s what is going to be best for your child. I can’t wait to meet you, to know you. When we meet, we’ll decide what kind of relationship we want to have, but it is important to me that you are involved in our child’s life (and when I say our child, I mean yours and ours). CHS helps facilitate contact between families, if that is what’s chosen. They believe it’s important for open communication, be it face to face or through the agency.

The post about CHS has kinda sidetracked into an open letter to you. I hope you don’t mind. I’ve been wanting to write to you for a while, I just never knew really how to start it.

I so hope that I get the opportunity to meet you. I think about you, almost everyday. Not about a baby that you may be carrying, but about you. I hope that you are well. I hope that you have someone in your corner that loves you. I hope we get the chance to talk, mother to mother, about your dreams, my dreams, and our dreams for our child. I don’t know you, not yet. But I’m hopeful we’ll meet soon. In the mean time, I’ll keep thinking about you and dreaming about our child.

Radio non-silence

DJ’s out of town for a meeting and while I enjoy my home-alone Grey’s Anatomy marathons, I miss it when he’s here. As cheesy as it sounds, he really is my best friend. We’ve been together for over eight years and I still smile when he walks into the room (which is terribly frustrating when I want to be angry with him.)

We officially met in September of 2005. Unofficially, DJ is the reason I passed general chemistry spring semester of freshman year. We had a mutual friend Lauren, who was dating one of DJ’s suite mates. DJ would help DJ with her chemistry homework, which I would then copy. Lauren talked about him every time we were working on homework, and she always referred to him by his first and last name (we have a very distinctive last name). I had a, let’s say, unfavorable mental image of him, that couldn’t be farther from the truth. And that she called him by first and last name is something because in the over eight years since, I don’t know I’ve heard her call him anything but Deej. But for fifteen weeks, we never met. I only knew he existed through Lauren.

So, our official meeting: it was move-in day of sophomore year of college. Lauren came to my room to get me to go to dinner. We were walking on another floor and I hear her yell “DEEJ!” DJ was walking out of his room and joined our, very large, group on our way to dinner. (Disclaimer: this next part is going to sound like crap. If it hadn’t happened to me, that’s what I would be thinking). The first time we spoke, there was a spark. It was like something clicked inside of me, like meeting someone I had known forever. We ate ham that night, one of his favorite foods, and I remember DJ apologizing for the quality of the dining hall ham.

Over the next two weeks, we spent almost every waking minute together. Even though we felt it immediately, we waited two weeks to say I love you. It was just days later we decided we would get married. Of course we didn’t officially get engaged until a year and a half later (a cold, windy day on the beach in March – a story for another day).

Like I said, if it hadn’t happened to me, I wouldn’t believe it. I would probably be gagging a little bit. Getting married young was tough, please don’t get me wrong. But I wouldn’t change a minute of it. We have both been lucky to have the examples of our parents and their long, loving marriages to look to. And, for better or worse, we are each other’s best friend. Each step we have taken has made us who we are. And I wouldn’t change any of it for anything.

 

 

Hiking the Back Bays of Virginia on Minimal Sleep

Julie and I have done very little today.  We are both worn out from our busy day yesterday in combination of the clocks springing forward last night.  Even so, I must say that our day yesterday was totally worth it.

I don’t really know how she does it, but Julie always finds the oddest, coolest things to do.  Yesterday, she organized a trip for us and her photography group to head to a state park in Virginia Beach.  Unfortunately, this trip involved us getting up at 4:45am to get there.  Groggily, we made our way to the park where we then hopped aboard a mean machine called a TerraGator.  This beast of a vehicle drove us over the dunes and down the beach to a remote area that was within walking distance to both the beach and the back bay.  We decided to hike to the back bay.  Once we got there, the tide was out so we decided to hike on the back bay.

Julie on the back bay

Julie on the back bay

Me walking the bay

Me walking the bay

It was muddy, but Julie was able to get some pretty good shots.

Bay

At the end of the day, we were exhausted and a little disheartened when we remembered we were losing an hour of sleep tonight.  Still, we had an awesome time and as tired as we are now, I don’t think we’d change anything about it.