When we started blogging, our intention was to reach families that may be considering placing a child for adoption. We felt like our letter on file with the agency was very static, but the blog gives us a chance to regularly update and would let someone learn more about us. A struggle of mine has been trying to figure out what to write and how much.
I’m not going to lie. The waiting has been hard. We never expected we’d be facing a second Christmas without our baby in our arms. But we also know that the end of our pain is the beginning of another family’s pain. The family that won’t raise the child they love. So I don’t want to come across as insensitive, or as though I’m looking for a pity party. So we only put on the good stuff. The pictures of us smiling and happy. The stories of trips and races and the things we do. I don’t write about the days I can’t get on Facebook because it seems like someone is posting a new pregnancy or birth every day. I don’t write about the days I cry in the car or in bed or into DJ’s shoulder. But I don’t think I’m going to. To whoever is reading this, I just want you to know that we are real people. We’re not just abstract folks on a website. We have real, changing emotions, just like you.
We don’t know what the family that is meant to find us is looking for. We don’t know if it’s something in our biographies, something in our looks, or something we’ve written here. But I feel like I haven’t been completely honest by only sharing the “postcard moments”. For that, I apologize. We’re not going to have any pity parties here, but we’re not going to be afraid to share when we’re having a rough day. We want you to know we don’t take the choice you’re making lightly. We’re in this. We’ve stuck it out this long because we’re invested.